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(Quotes from news, business, friends)
Copyright 1996-1998. Bruce A. Epstein. All Rights Reserved.
Last Updated June 1, 1998
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"Apple's in a situation now where you either have to
give the man the responsibility and authority to do what he's already doing
- or you have to tell him to stop doing it.''
-- Pieter Hartsook, publisher of The Hartsook Letter 07/30/97
speaking on Steve Job's current status as the de facto CEO of Apple
"It's not supposed to be sexual or sexy and it won't
-- Leonard Horn, president of the Miss America organization, announcing that two-piece suits, but no thongs or bikinis, will be allowed in this year's Miss America pageant's swimsuit competition. 07/21/97
"You're going down that road. You might as well do
it in pink."
"It should be understood that if you push beyond the
level of your abilities, and you happen to land on your head, even with
a helmet, you could kill yourself."
-- from the inline skating FAQ.
"Everybody wants a big fish."
-- Robert Epstein 07/05/97
"He spit out his mouthpiece and bit my ear. After the
first one, my corner told me to keep cool.
I went back and hit him with some good shots and he bit my ear again. He bit me on purpose.
I'm thankful that we have a referee like Mills Lane who can see the situation and that this was intentional."
-- Evander Holyfield who had to get part of his ear re-attached, speaking about Mike Tyson 06/28/97
"He butted me in the first round and he butted me in the second round.
What am I supposed to do? I've got children to raise. I have to retaliate."
-- "Iron" Mike Tyson, 06/28/97
"I saw him bite his ear off. It's the most incredible thing I have ever seen in
boxing. He should be tested or something."
-- Holyfield's trainer, Don Turner, 06/28/97
"Lawyers already outnumber humans in some cities."
-- Dave Barry 06/97
"Can that sentence be diagrammed? Not without powerful pharmaceuticals."
-- Dave Barry 06/97
"[Most dance music is] Sonic Wallpaper. The reason
drugs are prevalent in the dance club culture, is because if you're not
on drugs you'd be really bored by the monotonous music."
-- DJ from WRSU New Brunswick 90.x FM 06/10/97
"It's got some weight to it. Filling. Nutritious."
-- Same DJ contrasting the album "If 60s were 90s" by Beautiful Family with most dance music.
(Also check out "The World Goes Ska")
"I was looking at the clock so I didn't see the shot.
It was in the air for a long time. When it went through it got so loud that
it was surreal. I'm not sure what surreal means, but I heard someone say
it on TV and it sounded real smart."
Charles Barkley of the Houston Rockets on his teammate's game-winning shot at the buzzer during the playoffs against the Utah Jazz. 05/26/97
"You personally? You're a salt-water fish man."
-- RWE 05/25/97
"The ratios are not interesting."
-- RWE 05/25/97
"I haven't seen Oz in a way long time"
-- Dave Gewirtz 05/21/97
"Informal. Consider a form of 'irritate' if you mean
MS-Word 5.1's grammar checker upon encountering the word "bug". 05/18/97
"People here, you know, this is the ghetto. They see
money, they're gonna take it, you know". Okland resident Chaka Grace
explaining why no one had turned in $500,000 in cash that vanished after
it spilled from an armored car that overturned in a traffic accident.
"Mother Theresa is one of the outstanding symbols of
evil in the 20th century."
-- John Ridpath of the Ayn Rand Institute, speaking at the "anti-volunteerism" summit held in protest of President Clinton's Summit for America's Future 04/30/97
"Ah yes, the prom. Who could forget it? I threw up
all over my tuxedo in front of my date. It was certainly a memorable night."
-- Nicholas Cage 04/28/97
"I went to my sister's prom. I didn't have a dress,
so I turned this big American flag into this great evening gown. I also
had spray-painted blue hair and had two big pompoms on each side of my head.
I was stylin'"
-- Actress Rose McGown of Doom Generation 04/28/97
"If we throw things away, our world will be filled
with garbage and there won't be room for people. Fish and sea animals will
die in the polluted oceans, and the food chain will be broken. If the food
chain is broken, we will not have any meat to eat. The only foods we could
eat would be vegetables and fruits. Recycle!"
Letter to the Editor of the Newark Star-Ledger from Jessice Schempp, Fourth Grade, John Hill School, Boonton NJ 04/27/97
"They got me busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking
-- Dolly Parton 04/21/97
"The executive said, 'First, it's about blacks, which
means no whites will go; second, it was written by a white, which means
no blacks will go; third, it's an opera, which means no one will go'."
-- recollection of the of the movie version of "Porgy and Bess"
"These are little companies. I mean, like, buy a goat
and sell the milk."
-- Economist Pierre Cremieux on the successful "micro-loan" program for entrepreneurs in developing nations. 05/02/97
"They have unions, and they are crazed left-wing radical
-- PYC, an admitted left-wing socialist, on the socioeconomic climate in Haiti, 05/02/97
"I picked a guy who I thought was over the hill, and
the next thing you know, I'm in Africa on the floor and he's scremaing 'I'm
-- Boxer George Foreman on why he hasn't hand-picked an opponent since picking Ali in 1974, as quoted on 04/20/97
"In these pizzerias, an order of pizza and coke didn't
mean a snack and soda. [Buyers would order] 20 pizzas with extra 'cheese'
-- US Attorney Faith Hochberg on the series of arrest made following a 20-month investigation of the "Pizza Connection" network, alleged to be distributing drugs through pizza parlors. 04/17/97
-- The alumni update for Unabomber suspect Ted Kaczynski, in the 35th Anniversary Report of the Harvard College Class of 1962 which went out the week of April 15, 1997. Kaczynski had been in the Sacramento (California) County Jail for several months at that point.
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Copyright © 1996-1998. Bruce A. Epstein. All Rights Reserved.